The lone woman of color on the all-female jury that acquitted George Zimmerman has come forward to reveal she believed he was guilty. Speaking to ABC News, the woman, identified by her first name of Maddy, said she initially wanted to convict Zimmerman but changed her mind after deciding there was not enough evidence in the eyes of the law. The juror said she suffers from the outcome of the trial and shares the grief of Trayvon Martin’s mother.

Juror B29: “It’s hard for me to sleep, it’s hard for me to eat, because I feel that I was part, or I feel that I was forcefully included in Trayvon Martin’s death. And as I carry him on my back I’m hurting as much as Trayvon’s Martin’s mother, ’cause there’s no way that any mother should feel that pain.”

Robin Roberts: “But you feel in your heart of hearts that you and the jury approached it and came with the decision, and you stand by that decision to this day?”

Juror B29: “I stand by the decision because of the law. If I stand by the decision because of my heart, he would’ve been guilty.”

The juror’s comments come as Trayvon Martin’s father, Tracy Martin, has visited Capitol Hill to attend the first-ever meeting of the Congressional Caucus on Black Men and Boys.